Many years ago, a past friend and occasional lover asked me if I believed the drama in my life happened as a result of my actions or of those around me. At the time, I remembered replying I felt it was a bit of both. I thought of that conversation many times over the years and I can now honestly say, I can see it was all me.
Now stick with me here…this isn’t a pity post, this is a SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOP post. I GET IT! I finally fucking get it! It was all me because I needed the lessons. It was all me because my pain attracted their pain. It was all me because I needed the fix of shame I thought was normal. It was all me because I couldn’t even recognize the sludge I was wading in.
Almost 2 years ago, I left my 12-year position in Child Protection, without a plan, in the midst of a breakdown I wasn’t aware I was having…a breakdown of all my defenses, of all my walls, of all my fragile masks. I could not ignore what I knew in my soul any longer. I was on this earth for something greater, that the sludge I was in was uniquely my own, but universally female, and the strength of my story is in the triumph over trauma and surpassing all expectations, even my own to break the trauma line for my son and the children he is already planning to have.
This is my journey of surpassing. From Breakdown to Breakthrough- Leaping without a parachute and learning to soar. It has been said, When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I have been blessed with learning from some of the greatest teachers and experiencing transformation from the inside out. I have learned the pain of resistance and the ease of stepping into surrender and flow. I have felt the scar tissue in my heart soften and the glow of self-love start to seep into cracks. It is my time to finally own my truth, to be seen and heard, to be the teacher for she who seeks my words. To finally be the woman I am meant to be.
Each week, I’ll share a moment of my Breakdown to Breakthrough journey reflecting back to where I came from, and how I moved through those 2 years. I’ll share my greatest teachings, revelations, setbacks, and triumphs. I’ll share the darkness, but more importantly, I’ll share the hope, the joy and the most delicious moments of finally falling in love with yourself because it is my greatest hope that my story will trigger something in your story to propel you into taking whatever bold action you need to take to finally be the woman you are meant to be.
I’ve never been accused of being “normal” and I’ve had more than my share of stranger than fiction moments. I hope to make you laugh more than cry and to see more than a few things differently in your world. I hope to touch your soul with gratitude for living on this earth with me and taking the time to read my words, to bear witness to my transformational journey of healing intergenerational trauma and all it has brought to my life and for being you. Another seeker about to step into their brightest light.
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